


nobody knows what’s going on, let’s keep it that way

by insanity_times_ten



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Crack, F/F, Gen, Group chat, Not Reincarnation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy, Swearing, Textfic, chatfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27333931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insanity_times_ten/pseuds/insanity_times_ten
Summary: Anne adds the other queens to a group chat that she *definitely* didn’t create
Relationships: Anne Boleyn/Anne of Cleves, Catherine of Aragon/Jane Seymour, Katherine Howard/Catherine Parr
Comments: 60
Kudos: 92





	1. who gave you permission?

**Author's Note:**

> usernames:  
> Aragon: whataqueen   
> Boleyn: boleyngirl  
> Seymour: MamaSeymour   
> Cleves: back2thepalace   
> Howard: fairest.0f.the.fair  
> Parr: cparr6   
> Side note: this is NOT a reincarnation fic. They’re just all living together after college.

[10:30 a.m.]  _ boleyngirl added MamaSeymour, back2thepalace, fairest.0f.the.fair, and cparr6 to a group _

[10:30 a.m.]  _ boleyngirl named the group NOT ANNE’S FAULT _

**boleyngirl** alrite nobody tell catherine i started this

**cparr6** bad plan, anne

[10:31 a.m.]  _ MamaSeymour added whataqueen to NOT ANNE’S FAULT _

**whataqueen** ok what did anne do this time

**fairest.0f.the.fair** nothin

**MamaSeymour** @whataqueen LINAAAA IM HUNGRY

**back2thepalace** srsly that was the entire reason u added her?

**MamaSeymour** Maybeee ;)

**boleyngirl** ope mama’s gonna get some action

**fairest.0f.the.fair** FUCK YOU ANNE

**boleyngirl** lol wut

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i did NOT want to know that 

**cparr6** well i mean…

**cparr6** ok yeah u kno wat nvm

**back2thepalace** ok let’s go somewhere else 

**boleyngirl** 2 words

**boleyngirl** i c e

**boleyngirl** c r e a m

[10:42 a.m.]  **boleyngirl** y is no one down here yet

**cparr6** bc SOME OF US are late sleepers and still have to put on real clothes 

**boleyngirl** ok fair

**fairest.0f.the.fair** u called?

**boleyngirl** no i did not

**back2thepalace** anne you’re pregananant how tf are you ready to go already 

**cparr6** pregananant

**back2thepalace** i know what i did

**boleyngirl** bold of you to assume i haven’t been waiting for an excuse to get out of the house for the last two hours 

**back2thepalace** why were you up before 9

**back2thepalace** because i know for a FACT that you were up past 3

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i don’t wanna know

**back2thepalace** it wasn’t what you think it was

**boleyngirl** i had a nightmare 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** :( hope ur feeling better 

**boleyngirl** it’s all good now anna cuddled with me for a while 

**cparr6** anne this pregnancy seems like it’s being a lil bit 2 hard on u

**cparr6** r u sure ur ok?

**boleyngirl** ye i’m fine i just have an active imagination and an even more active baby

**cparr6** ok then

**boleyngirl** @back2thepalace WAIT SHIT WHERES MARY

**back2thepalace** relax she’s in our room

**fairest.0f.the.fair** how tf did u lose an entire 4 yr old

**boleyngirl** shut up u kno i don’t have any object permanence skills

**cparr6** y do u 2 have mary 2day

**back2thepalace** catherine’s making us play mommy

**boleyngirl** since i’m 2 days past due n all

**cparr6** u could literally go into labor at any point u realize this

**boleyngirl** yes

**boleyngirl** she’d be there for the birth of her godsister or godbrother tho

**fairest.0f.the.fair** awh u guys picked jane to be their godmother?

**back2thepalace** no we picked lina

**fairest.0f.the.fair** ohhhhh ok

**boleyngirl** anyway anna is mary ready yet

**back2thepalace** just gotta find her shoes

**boleyngirl** put her in boots it’s wet out

**whataqueen** anna her rain boots should be in the mudroom if that’s what you want 

**boleyngirl** lina i thought u were w jane 

**whataqueen** no i’ve been sitting in the kitchen watching this mess 

**whataqueen** how did you lose my child

**boleyngirl** well TECHNICALLY she was never lost i just forgot she was with anna 

**whataqueen** still

**whataqueen** you two are supposed to be mothering her for the next 24 hours

**boleyngirl** question how have u been in the next room this whole time and i legit haven’t heard u once

**whataqueen** i’m very good at being quiet 

**whataqueen** just ask jane

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i’d rather not

**whataqueen** then don’t 

**boleyngirl** ok @back2thepalace

**boleyngirl** ilysm 

**boleyngirl** but i want this baby OUT

**back2thepalace** what’re they doing now

**boleyngirl** idk i think it’s braxton hicks again but it fucking HURTS

**back2thepalace** ok be there in a sec @cparr6 or @fairest.0f.the.fair can you watch mary for a little while

**cparr6** i got u anna 

**boleyngirl** annaaaaaa

**MamaSeymour** LINAAAAA

**whataqueen** janey scroll up

**MamaSeymour** Anne how bad is it?

**back2thepalace** she says it’s at an 8

**MamaSeymour** Say no more. I’m on the way down.

**cparr6** u know sometimes i forget jane is an obgyn

**MamaSeymour** Cathy I’m literally your gynecologist how do you forget these things?

**cparr6** beats me

**fairest.0f.the.fair** annie how r u feeling

**back2thepalace** she says she’d be better if she had drugs

**back2thepalace** which jane is refusing to let her have bc we don’t know what this is yet

**whataqueen** a good plan

[11:01 a.m.]  **MamaSeymour** Well, take this news as you’d like to, but Anne and Anna are on their way to the hospital.

**fairest.0f.the.fair** y aren’t you going as well?

**MamaSeymour** It’s Sunday and I’m not on call.

**fairest.0f.the.fair** that’s fair

[11:08 a.m.]  **back2thepalace** we’re at the hospital 

**whataqueen** worlds fastest drive

**MamaSeymour** How’s Anne?

[11:24 a.m.]  **back2thepalace** in labor

**MamaSeymour** How far is she?

**back2thepalace** 4

**MamaSeymour** Prepare for the most nerve-wracking 2-24 hours of your life.

**back2thepalace** thanks for the pep talk jane 

**MamaSeymour** Anytime.

[11:59 a.m.]  **back2thepalace** uh guys anne wants to see you

**cparr6** video call?

**back2thepalace** ok

[12:00 p.m.]  _ back2thepalace started a video call _

_ Video call transcript: _

Anna: Just gotta wait for everyone to get on…

[12:00 p.m.]  _ MamaSeymour joined the video call _

[12:01 p.m.]  _ cparr6 joined the video call _

(Anna waves, then moves the camera to show Anne) 

Jane: Hi, Anne! How’re you feeling?

Anne: Like shit.

Catherine (off camera): It’s gonna get worse, I promise.

Kat: What’re you guys gonna name the baby?

Anna: Elizabeth for a girl, Jacob for a boy.

Anne: Annie, it hurts…

Anna: I know, I know. It’ll be okay, though. We’ll have a beautiful baby in our arms by the end of this.

Anne: I want the drugs… I want Janey…

Jane: Love, ask for an epidural if you want one. They’ll give it to you. And I can come over there if you want me to.

Catherine (off camera):  _ ¡María Isabela! ¡Trae tu trasero aquí ahora mismo! _

Jane: Mary, mind your mother, please!

Anna: Jane, I think Anne wants you here.

Jane: M’kay… I can be there in ten minutes?

Anna: Sounds good. I’ll let the rest of you go so we can get Anne some drugs.

Kat: Bye, Annie!

Cathy: See you guys later!

  
[12:06 p.m.]  _ Video call ended _


	2. “don’t @ me i was up all night birthing a child”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ve been half asleep all day so i can’t rlly think of anything witty to say
> 
> no tws for this chapter (except for swearing but that’s a constant sooo)

[2:37 a.m.]  **back2thepalace** ladies, we have a new member of the family 

**back2thepalace** [picture attached]

**back2thepalace** meet elizabeth marie boleyn 

**back2thepalace** both mama and baby are doing well

**back2thepalace** jane, however, is passed out in a chair

**back2thepalace** a direct quote from anne “i don’t care that she’s not on call, jane is delivering this goddamn baby”

[7:42 a.m.]  **cparr6** [video attached]

**cparr6** THIS is what i woke up to

**back2thepalace** u guys can come see us starting at 9 -anne

**fairest.0f.the.fair** YESSSSSSSS

**fairest.0f.the.fair** cath will u plsssssss take me?

**cparr6** ig i can

**fairest.0f.the.fair** YAY

**whataqueen** janey your daughter would like to know when you’re coming home

**back2thepalace** jane’s still asleep but i can wake her? -anne

**whataqueen** no no

**whataqueen** just send a pic i can show mary

**back2thepalace** [picture attached]

**whataqueen** thanks

**back2thepalace** anytime -anne 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** [video attached]

**fairest.0f.the.fair** oh how the turn tables 

**cparr6** jeez kat ily too

**back2thepalace** please tell me she’s screaming over my baby and not the picture of jane -anne

**fairest.0f.the.fair** lol no i sent her baby owl pics

**whataqueen** anne how big was she

**back2thepalace** 8 lbs even and 21 or 22 in long -anne

**whataqueen** oh wow

**whataqueen** mary weighed like 5 and a half and she was like 14 inches long

**back2thepalace** yeah but wasn’t she like… 6 weeks early -anne

**whataqueen** yeah she was

[8:13 a.m.]  **boleyngirl** hey look anna’s awake

**cparr6** did y’all switch phones or smthn

**boleyngirl** nah anna woke up and gave me my phone bc she wanted hers back

**back2thepalace** yes and i would also like to hold my child

**boleyngirl** but she’s so warmmmmm and snugglyyyyy

**back2thepalace** and she’s also partially mineeeee

**boleyngirl** i love you?

**back2thepalace** i love you too but that’s not gonna work

**back2thepalace** gimme the baby

**boleyngirl** fineeeee

[8:24 a.m.]  **MamaSeymour** Lina, tell Mary I’ll come home with you guys after you see Elizabeth.

**whataqueen** got it

**back2thepalace** will they even let mary in? the “under 5” rule?

**whataqueen** she’s tall

**back2thepalace** ok

**back2thepalace** also baby snuggles >>>

**fairest.0f.the.fair** cathy i want one

**cparr6** we’re not even married?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** yet

**cparr6** wut

**fairest.0f.the.fair** nothing

**whataqueen** anyway janey i want another one

**MamaSeymour** We’ll see. We didn’t even get our alone time yesterday because somebody decided to make an appearance.

**boleyngirl** wow u have one kid and suddenly everyone’s got baby fever

**boleyngirl** also not that i don’t love her but if she had waited like 24 hours it would’ve been way easier to plan around 

**cparr6** wut y

**back2thepalace** she was gonna get induced tomorrow 

**cparr6** ohhhhh yeah

**whataqueen** @cparr6 @fairest.0f.the.fair you two have to pass the Janey and Lina Mommy Test™ before you have kids

**cparr6** wtf anne and anna didn’t have to

**whataqueen** that’s what they were gonna do yesterday

**whataqueen** and what they should’ve done way before then

**back2thepalace** not our fault mary had preschool or dance class or soccer every day

**whataqueen** well you have a point

**cparr6** ok me and kat are headed to the hospital 

**boleyngirl** u have like 15 minutes to kill

**fairest.0f.the.fair** we gotta stop for breakfast cos cath’s had nothing but coffee and i’m hungry

**boleyngirl** alrighty then have fun

**back2thepalace** out of curiosity where are you guys stopping

**fairest.0f.the.fair** mcdonalds u want anything 

**back2thepalace** sausage mcmuffin pretty please

**boleyngirl** wut i wasn’t told this was an option 

**back2thepalace** that’s why you a s k

**fairest.0f.the.fair** annie do u want smthn?

**boleyngirl** 3 hashbrowns 

**boleyngirl** hospital food sucks ass

**MamaSeymour** Tell me about it.

**fairest.0f.the.fair** janey do u need/want anything 

**MamaSeymour** Just a hot chocolate please.

**fairest.0f.the.fair** k so that’s a sausage mcmuffin 3 hashbrowns and a hot chocolate

**back2thepalace** yep

**MamaSeymour** Kitty let me know how much I owe you.

**fairest.0f.the.fair** nah it’s on us this time

**fairest.0f.the.fair** u always pay 4 food

**boleyngirl** she right, she right

**boleyngirl** besides i’m gonna have medical bills to pay yIpPeEEeE

**whataqueen** anne a sandwich and 3 hashbrowns aren’t gonna set you back that much but oh well

**boleyngirl** also like…

**boleyngirl** don’t y’all have work

**whataqueen** we took the day off dumbass 

**boleyngirl** don’t @ me i was up all night birthing a child

**boleyngirl** ur goddaughter might i add

**boleyngirl** and i was basically high so…

**MamaSeymour** Anne you were not “basically high.”

**MamaSeymour** You were on an epidural.

**boleyngirl** yes and having a needle shoved in my back was NOT a fun experience 

**boleyngirl** so if i wanna say i was high then i was high

**fairest.0f.the.fair** ok 2 questions 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** 1 y aren’t u guys just talking in person 

**boleyngirl** bc we’re grown adults and if we wanna text then we’ll text

**fairest.0f.the.fair** 2 does anyone want a drink 

**boleyngirl** coke 

**MamaSeymour** Anne you are not having caffeine.

**boleyngirl** fine gimme a sprite

**boleyngirl** anna’s gonna want a sweet tea

**whataqueen** yuck

**whataqueen** do you know how much sugar they put in that stuff

**boleyngirl** “no and idc” -anna

[9:05 a.m.]  **boleyngirl** cath and kat wya

**fairest.0f.the.fair** long line

**boleyngirl** a solid excuse 

**boleyngirl** carry on

**whataqueen** anne you good?

**boleyngirl** p a i n k i l l e r s

**boleyngirl** *･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

**whataqueen** they've got you on the good stuff then

**boleyngirl** oh yea

**boleyngirl** i feel gr8

**fairest.0f.the.fair** well this is entertaining 

**boleyngirl** anyway lina wyd

**whataqueen** not making my child an ice cream sundae for breakfast that’s for sure

**boleyngirl** i want one

**fairest.0f.the.fair** ok we can get u one

**boleyngirl** Y A Y

**MamaSeymour** Anne does NOT need sugar. 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** too late 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** anyway anna’s been quiet 

**boleyngirl** she be doin skin 2 skin w liz n she abt 2 fall asleep 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** lol ok

**whataqueen** well she was up with anne 

**whataqueen** and skin to skin can be VERY relaxing 

**whataqueen** i don’t blame her

**fairest.0f.the.fair** pulling out of drivethru give us like 5 minutes 

**boleyngirl** kk wbu lina

**whataqueen** we’ll be out the door once mary finishes her breakfast 

[9:47 a.m.]  **boleyngirl** [picture attached]

**boleyngirl** @fairest.0f.the.fair thought u might want

**cparr6** i’ll do u 1 better

**cparr6** [video attached]

**back2thepalace** you’ve gotta admit, that WAS hilarious 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** u guys r meanies :(

**whataqueen** anne do you want a pic of mary holding elizabeth?

**boleyngirl** yes pls 

**whataqueen** [picture attached]

  
**boleyngirl** tyyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why am i all of them at once  
> also i don’t actually know what the pic and vid were of at the end but i’d assume they’re something along the lines of kat cooing at elizabeth (idk use your iMaGiNaTiOn)


	3. the janey and lina mommy test™️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what could go wrong, really?  
> tw sExUaL rEfErEnCeS

[4:06 p.m.]  **whataqueen** married couples double date tonight

**boleyngirl** wut

**whataqueen** i’ve got a table for 4 reserved @ that one place we’ve been dying to go to 

**boleyngirl** what time 

**boleyngirl** and y do u propose this while i can’t have any wine

**whataqueen** reservations @ 630

**MamaSeymour** Anne you can have wine so long as you wait long enough to nurse again.

**boleyngirl** how long

**MamaSeymour** 2 hours for each glass after you’re done for the night.

**MamaSeymour** I also would advise against more than 3 glasses.

**boleyngirl** littt

**cparr6** wut abt me n kat 

**MamaSeymour** I think you know.

**cparr6** no? i don’t?

**whataqueen** it's time for…

**whataqueen** the Janey and Lina Mommy Test™!

**cparr6** but i haven’t asked kat to marry me yet?

**whataqueen** WHAT

**MamaSeymour** What?

**back2thepalace** w h a t

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i get a feeling i wasn’t supposed to see that?

**boleyngirl** it’s about damn time

[4:17 p.m.]  _ cparr6 unsent a message _

**cparr6** well

**cparr6** this is awkward 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** u were gonna ask me to marry u?

**cparr6** uhm

**cparr6** yes?

**cparr6** i thought it was kinda obvious 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** it was

**fairest.0f.the.fair** u kno ur kinda terrible at keeping secrets 

**cparr6** i am?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** there’s been a ring box sitting on ur nightstand for like 2 months now u srsly think i’m not gonna notice that 

**cparr6** oh

**cparr6** whoops

**back2thepalace** ok so we’ve learned things today

**back2thepalace** 1) cath can’t keep a secret

**back2thepalace** 2) there’s gonna be another wedding soon

**back2thepalace** 3) i’m gonna get wasted tonight 

**back2thepalace** am i forgetting anything 

**boleyngirl** no i think u covered it all

**back2thepalace** nice

**MamaSeymour** Cath and Kitty, Mary’s good to do just about anything tonight. Just make sure she’s in bed by 8:30.

**whataqueen** babes they don’t get guidelines for this 

**whataqueen** mary is theirs for the next 24 hours 

[4:24 p.m.]  _ MamaSeymour unsent a message  _

**boleyngirl** there should b some milk in the fridge and/or freezer for liz

**boleyngirl** she’s usually eating like every 2 hrs

**boleyngirl** and u kno where the nursery is for diapers n whatnot

**boleyngirl** u can set up the bassinet downstairs or u can put her in her crib ur choice

**back2thepalace** wait we’re allowed to give them instructions yeah?

**whataqueen** unless you want elizabeth dropped on her head

**cparr6** ok we’re not THAT irresponsible 

**boleyngirl** ok new instruction don’t drop liz on her head

**boleyngirl** pretty sure that’s everything 

**back2thepalace** text someone if you need help

**back2thepalace** also mary’s gonna wanna hold her and she can, just make sure you help

**fairest.0f.the.fair** got it

[7:28 p.m.]  **whataqueen** [picture attached]

**whataqueen** jealous?

**cparr6** anne i thought u were going easy on the wine

**boleyngirl** i was just taking a sip

**boleyngirl** no one told me lina was taking a picture 

**back2thepalace** lies

**back2thepalace** i tapped you and pointed at her phone

**boleyngirl** ok then no one VERBALLY told me we were taking a picture

**back2thepalace** did the fact that i was leaning on your shoulder clue you in at all

**boleyngirl** nope bc u do that all the time

**boleyngirl** but it does explain why u were breathing down my neck

**back2thepalace** i find it funny that you hate it when people breathe on you but you let me

**back2thepalace** presses send mid sentence and realized i shouldn’t be discussing these things here

**back2thepalace** *pressed

**boleyngirl** kat and cath do u guys mind watching liz for the night?

**boleyngirl** anna and i have some *personal business* to attend to

**MamaSeymour** Anne…

**boleyngirl** jane…

**back2thepalace** lina…

**whataqueen** anna…

**fairest.0f.the.fair** cathy…

**cparr6** kitty…

**MamaSeymour** How do I even put up with you all sometimes?

**whataqueen** well you married me

**whataqueen** everyone else is just kinda here

**MamaSeymour** Anyway Anne you had a baby not even a week ago.

**MamaSeymour** You have to wait at least 4 weeks until you can do… that again.

**back2thepalace** wow jane way to be a buzzkill

**MamaSeymour** Thanks, I try.

**boleyngirl** janey i think ur forgetting something VERY important 

**boleyngirl** i never said i was going to be RECEIVING anything 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** someone add me back when they’re done talking abt this

[7:49 p.m]  _ fairest.0f.the.fair left the group _

**MamaSeymour** I guess I thought it was implied.

**boleyngirl** nah man i gotta take care of my wife 

**MamaSeymour** Ok but be safe.

[7:51 p.m.]  _ cparr6 added fairest.0f.the.fair to NOT ANNE’S FAULT  _

**fairest.0f.the.fair** thx cath

**fairest.0f.the.fair** have fun on the rest of ur date guys!

[8:59 p.m.]  **cparr6** uhm

**cparr6** shit

**cparr6** uh

**cparr6** @whataqueen?

**whataqueen** yes?

**cparr6** mary

**whataqueen** figure it out yourself hun

**cparr6** no…

**cparr6** she’s burning up

**cparr6** idk what to do

**cparr6** kat’s freaking out

**cparr6** mary’s crying

**cparr6** liz is crying

**cparr6** wolfie and magic and roxie are all barking

**cparr6** help

**whataqueen** get a thermometer from the medicine cabinet and take her temperature 

**whataqueen** the touchless one if you can find it

**cparr6** ok

**cparr6** uhh 

**cparr6** how high of a fever warrants going to the hospital 

**whataqueen** 104

**cparr6** oh thank god

**cparr6** she’s only got a 101.9

**cparr6** but she’s also basically delirious 

**whataqueen** tylenol water and bed

**MamaSeymour** Why isn’t she in bed already?

**cparr6** couldn’t sleep

**cparr6** i don’t blame her, she’s shivering 

**boleyngirl** poor girl

**boleyngirl** how’s liz

**cparr6** i’m currently trying to get either kitty or mary calmed down enough that someone can give her a bottle

**boleyngirl** ur handling this rlly well

**cparr6** thx

**whataqueen** jane and i should be home within the next half hour 

**back2thepalace** anne and i will be back around the same time

**cparr6** i’m sry

**MamaSeymour** What’re you sorry for, love?

**cparr6** u had 2 cut date nite short

**cparr6** all bc i can’t handle a sick 4 yr old by myself 

**MamaSeymour** That isn’t your fault. We didn’t know Mary was gonna get sick, otherwise we wouldn’t have gone out.

  
**whataqueen** the bill’s here, cathy. we’ll be home asap 


	4. it’s a mess but oh well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw sexual references (prolly gonna be a lot of those throughout this fic sorry not sorry)

[1:16 a.m.]  **boleyngirl** anyone else up

**cparr6** wut up

**whataqueen** hola

**boleyngirl** y r u 2 up

**cparr6** i n s o m n i a

**boleyngirl** understandable, lina?

**whataqueen** mary’s rooming with me since jane’s on night shift tonight

**whataqueen** she kicks

**cparr6** hbu anne 

**boleyngirl** lizzie’s colicky 

**cparr6** and anna’s not up?

**boleyngirl** she’s out like a light

**cparr6** want help?

**boleyngirl** no, go to sleep

**whataqueen** you’re sure?

**whataqueen** cause i doubt i’ll be getting much sleep

**boleyngirl** u can help if u want ig

**whataqueen** hold on

**whataqueen** you’re sure it’s colic?

**whataqueen** have you tried feeding her?

**boleyngirl** at least 3 times in the past hour

**whataqueen** diaper?

**boleyngirl** clean

**boleyngirl** she’s tired but she won’t sleep

**whataqueen** have you given her any anti-gas medicine

**boleyngirl** yes

**boleyngirl** nothing’s working 

**whataqueen** put on shoes (and clothes if you need them) and meet me in my van

**whataqueen** bring a pacifier for liz

**cparr6** can i come i wanna come

**whataqueen** sure

**cparr6** y a y

**boleyngirl** hurry tf up cath

**cparr6** i’m coming i’m coming

**back2thepalace** what r u guys doing up 

**boleyngirl** and the same 2 u weren’t u asleep like 5 mins ago

**back2thepalace** the crying stopped n i got worried

**boleyngirl** ok do u wanna come with us

**back2thepalace** nah y’all do your thing

**boleyngirl** suit urself 

[7:41 a.m.]  **fairest.0f.the.fair** wtf were u all doing at 115 this morning 

**boleyngirl** finally getting my child to be quiet 

**cparr6** [ https://open.spotify.com/artist/2Sqr0DXoaYABbjBo9HaMkM?si=DviWGyqzQgyQv6ZVO5AtNw ](https://open.spotify.com/artist/2Sqr0DXoaYABbjBo9HaMkM?si=DviWGyqzQgyQv6ZVO5AtNw)

**boleyngirl** pls explain 

**cparr6** just click it

**boleyngirl** no

**boleyngirl** i refuse to get rickrolled again 

**cparr6** sara bareilles

**boleyngirl** who

**fairest.0f.the.fair** cath i have great taste in music and even idk who that is

**cparr6** wrote the music for waitress?

**boleyngirl** OH

**boleyngirl** ok

[7:52 a.m.]  **boleyngirl** ok love song SLAPS

**cparr6** one of two decent songs on that album

**cparr6** want good music? listen to anything on kaleidoscope heart or the blessed unrest

[8:04 a.m.]  **cparr6** anne i can hear king of anything through the living room ceiling

**cparr6** r u ok

**boleyngirl** a fuckin bop

**boleyngirl** i am living my best life

**cparr6** listen to eden

**boleyngirl** alrite it’s next up

[8:10 a.m.]  **boleyngirl** U KNO IF I COULD CHANGE ANYTHING 

**boleyngirl** I THINK I WOULD START WITH THE NAME

**cparr6** i take it you’re a fan

**boleyngirl** oh yeah

[11:08 a.m.]  **MamaSeymour** Cathy, I do believe I’ve found my new car music.

**cparr6** ikr?

**cparr6** how was work

**MamaSeymour** What did you do this time?

**cparr6** nothing

**fairest.0f.the.fair** don’t let her fool u janey, she’s trying to get me all worked up on our private chat 

**MamaSeymour** I thought she was working on her paper?

**cparr6** i WAS

**cparr6** but i ran out of motivation 

**MamaSeymour** And what are you doing, Kat?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** trying to ignore her while i stretch

**back2thepalace** good kid

**back2thepalace** pre or post workout?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** post

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i’m running to the store when i’m done, anyone need anything?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** not literally running if anyone was concerned 

**MamaSeymour** Pick up some salad kits (any kind is fine) if you don’t mind :)

**back2thepalace** almond butter and whole wheat bagels

**cparr6** coffee and babybels if they’re cheap 

**boleyngirl** baby wipes

**boleyngirl** oreos 

**cparr6** actually it doesn’t matter if the babybels are cheap just get them

**boleyngirl** strawberry yogurt 

**whataqueen** frozen fruits and vegetables, frozen waffles, ground sausage, tilapia fillets, pork chops, tater tots, shredded mozzarella, 2 loaves of honey wheat bread, chocolate milk (½ gallon), 2% milk (1 gallon), whole milk (½ gallon)

**boleyngirl** and tropical punch koolaid mix

**fairest.0f.the.fair** that is a strange variety ok then

**whataqueen** who was that directed at

**fairest.0f.the.fair** u or annie idk

**fairest.0f.the.fair** cos jane and anna wanted fairly normal stuff, cath literally lives on coffee and cheese, anne is walking the fine line between sleep deprived and clinically insane, and you sent me your entire shopping list

**fairest.0f.the.fair** meanwhile i’m getting bandaids, ibuprofen, roll-on lidocaine, tampons, and chocolate 

**MamaSeymour** Kat don’t forget- you have a chiropractor appointment at 2 today!

**fairest.0f.the.fair** kk thx janey

[3:57 p.m.]  **boleyngirl** y’all should listen to lily allen 

[2:42 a.m.]  **boleyngirl** anyone up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the extreme differences in their shopping lists get me for some reason


	5. * a h e m *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright this one’s a little bit (or a lotta bit) more sexual reference-y than past chapters so please PROCEED WITH CAUTION

[8:00 a.m.]  **whataqueen** career day change ur chat name to ur job 

[8:00 a.m.]  _ whataqueen changed their username to cpa _

**boleyngirl** lina wtf?

**cpa** idk needed something obnoxious to do

[8:01 a.m.]  _ boleyngirl changed cpa’s username to math nerd _

[8:02 a.m]  _ math nerd changed their username to whataqueen _

[9:17 a.m.]  **whataqueen** does anyone want to explain why my child asked me where her father is

**whataqueen** and/or how to explain it without corrupting her

**boleyngirl** i got nothing

**back2thepalace** don’t know, don’t care 

**cparr6** omg ur pReCiOuS bAbY AnGeL cHiLd wants to know where her daddy is whatever will we do

**cparr6** i move that lina gives her the gay/straight/inbetween talk at dinner

**back2thepalace** seconded

**boleyngirl** thirded

**fairest.0f.the.fair** fourthed

**cparr6** majority rules

**boleyngirl** LETS GOOOOOOOO

**MamaSeymour** Fifthed? Which is not a thing, by the way.

**whataqueen** but janeyyyyyyy

**MamaSeymour** She’s gonna figure it out sooner or later, love. May as well teach her now when we can somewhat control her information intake.

**whataqueen** cool but what do i say

**boleyngirl** just t e l l h e r

**boleyngirl** she’s literally 4 what’s she gonna do

**whataqueen** true

**MamaSeymour** Explain to her what being gay is, what being straight is, and what being bi or pan is. Not that hard

**whataqueen** if it’s so easy then why don’t you do it

**boleyngirl** r u srsly scared of ur own daughter

**whataqueen** no…

**whataqueen** ok in all fairness she’s terrifying sometimes 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** she’s rlly not?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** mary’s literally the sweetest little girl i’ve ever met 

[12:13 p.m.]  **boleyngirl** ok EW

**back2thepalace** you good?

**boleyngirl** NO 

**boleyngirl** i walked in the house cause i’m on lunch break right now

**boleyngirl** and a full on parrward makeout sesh was happening

**boleyngirl** ON THE COUCH

**boleyngirl** just bc y’all r college students n u don’t have classes today doesn’t mean u can just… ya know…

**cparr6** anne u lil fucker u killed the mood 

**cparr6** and i’m not just a college student 

**boleyngirl** ik ur an eNgLiSh TeAcHeR wOaH

**fairest.0f.the.fair** annie that was rude :(

**boleyngirl** and?

**MamaSeymour** She’s right, that was very rude and highly uncalled for.

**MamaSeymour** You can’t go around trashing others’ career choices.

**back2thepalace** love you should apologize 

**boleyngirl** sry cath

**boleyngirl** we’ll talk when i get home, i have to meet with some clients in a little less than 45 minutes

**cparr6** kk

[5:37 p.m.]  **back2thepalace** ugh i have to stay late to finish up this case i’m so done 

**MamaSeymour** Do you want someone to bring you dinner?

**back2thepalace** what’re y’all having 

**MamaSeymour** I was planning on making broccoli cheese soup but I think we’ll just have spaghetti tonight.

**back2thepalace** sounds lit

**boleyngirl** i’ll come eat with u in ur office 

**boleyngirl** *whispers* and i’ll bring coffee

  
  


[clevelyn chat]

[5:41 p.m.]  **babygirl** ya know…

**annabanana** oh christ 

**babygirl** we don’t just have to eat

**annabanana** i don’t like where this is going not one bit

**babygirl** oh come on

**babygirl** pretty pls?

**babygirl** i’m basically healed

**annabanana** still…

**babygirl** tonight

**babygirl** one night only 

**babygirl** i’ll be ur good girl

**babygirl** u can do whatever u want to me

**annabanana** …

**annabanana** fine

**annabanana** but bring a bag and wear something cute

**babygirl** what do u want me to put in the bag

**annabanana** you know exactly what i want in the bag

**annabanana** i know how smart you are so don’t play dumb

**babygirl** ur so fuckin hot u know that?

**annabanana** ofc i do

**annabanana** you married me after all

[NOT ANNE’S FAULT]

[5:50 p.m.]  **cparr6** anne ur sure u don’t wanna stay for the lina talk of the night

**boleyngirl** record it for me

**boleyngirl** i wanna see mary’s face too cos her reaction should be PRICELESS

**fairest.0f.the.fair** agreed

**back2thepalace** i wanna see this too

**cparr6** i’ll just send the recording to the group 

[6:35 p.m.]  **cparr6** [video attached]

**cparr6** enjoy

[8:50 p.m.]  **boleyngirl** omg why tf did she make a powerpoint 

**back2thepalace** DEAD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m sorry it’s short but my brain isn’t working


	6. mario’s pizza, all else is blasphemy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this started as one idea and spiraled  
> apologies for the weirdness  
> tw for a whole load of swearing

[7:21 a.m.] **boleyngirl** hey kat wyd

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i’m not going to go bully those poor girl scouts into giving us free cookies 

**boleyngirl** WOULD U JUST LET THAT GO

 **boleyngirl** for real tho wyd

**fairest.0f.the.fair** in the starbucks line

**boleyngirl** bring me some

**back2thepalace** me too 

**MamaSeymour** Can I have something please?

**whataqueen** WANT

**cparr6** babe? coffe? pls?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** anne, anna, lina: no <3

 **fairest.0f.the.fair** janey: what do you want tell me on private so no one’s jealous thxxx

 **fairest.0f.the.fair** cath: ur the entire reason i’m here also it’s spelled coffee

**boleyngirl** wHAT

 **boleyngirl** MY BABY COUSIN REFUSES TO BRING ME CAFFEINE 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** bitch i don’t have to do anything

**cparr6** kitty i’m tired don’t yell at me for typos

**fairest.0f.the.fair** this is why we don’t stay up all night cramming for exams

**MamaSeymour** What time is your first exam?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** my first is at 1015 but cathy’s is at 8

**boleyngirl** graduation’s in two weeks, u’d better pass ur classes kitty 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i will i promise 

[10:42 a.m.] **cparr6** i find it funny that i’m taking exams while still waiting on results from one

**whataqueen** ??

**cparr6** the janey and lina mommy test™?

**whataqueen** OH

 **whataqueen** yeah y’all passed

 **whataqueen** i figured you knew since you were taking care of my sick 4 yr old

**boleyngirl** cath put your phone away if you’re in an exam

**fairest.0f.the.fair** smtn isn’t right here

**back2thepalace** wdym

**fairest.0f.the.fair** u two clearly switched ur phones

**back2thepalace** DAMN IT ANNA

 **back2thepalace** u said they’d never figure it out

**boleyngirl** gimme my phone back then

**back2thepalace** kat u bitch u couldn’t have let us have fun

**MamaSeymour** ANNE

 **MamaSeymour** WHAT THE FUCK

**boleyngirl** ooh you’re in for it now babe

 **boleyngirl** have fun

**whataqueen** jane, let’s be rational here…

**MamaSeymour** I refuse.

 **MamaSeymour** Anne needs to learn a lesson.

 **MamaSeymour** Anne and Anna, switch back your phones.

**back2thepalace** done

**MamaSeymour** Now Anne, you are not allowed back in the chat until you’ve apologized to Kat.

 **MamaSeymour** In person.

[11:13 a.m.] _MamaSeymour removed boleyngirl from NOT ANNE’S FAULT_

**whataqueen** janey, love, don’t you think this is a bit too far

**MamaSeymour** No. I did what needed to be done.

**fairest.0f.the.fair** janey i appreciate you sticking up for me but i have to agree with lina here

**MamaSeymour** Aren’t you supposed to be taking an exam?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** it got moved cos dr james is in puerto rico and ig his ta got sick or smtn 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** so no

————————

[11:15 a.m.] **ari** are you ok???

**janey** Yeah, I think it’s just hormones.

**ari** did you do a test yet?

**janey** No, I’m waiting to get a break longer than 5 minutes.

**ari** that’s fair

 **ari** do you think you are?

**janey** I’ve felt like shit all day. 

**janey** So yeah, probably.

**ari** when do you think you’ll have time?

**janey** Whenever I get time to have lunch.

**ari** ok keep me posted

**janey** I will. I’ve got an appointment in about two minutes, so I’ll talk later.

————————

[11:30 a.m.] _back2thepalace renamed the group the spectacular six_

**back2thepalace** bring annie back 

**back2thepalace** please 

**back2thepalace** wait a second

[11:31 a.m.] _back2thepalace added boleyngirl to the spectacular six_

**back2thepalace** welcome back 

**boleyngirl** thx for keeping my memory alive 

**boleyngirl** where’s jane

**whataqueen** she has a patient right now 

**boleyngirl** kk

**whataqueen** and then she’s taking a break for lunch

**boleyngirl** ye that’s fair 

**whataqueen** and after that she’s gonna look at this chat and not even wonder why you’re back

**boleyngirl** aight sounds like a plan 

**boleyngirl** in other news i’m showing a house in like 20 mins

**fairest.0f.the.fair** ooo funnnn

**cparr6** hey kat meet me on the north side of the art building in 15 minutes

**fairest.0f.the.fair** specific

 **fairest.0f.the.fair** i like it

————————

[11:40 a.m.] **cath** hey can you be on the north side of the art building in 10 minutes?

  1. **cleves** yeah totallY
  2. **cleves** you’re finally gonna ask her?



**cath** i think it’s high time this step got taken

 **a. cleves** fair

**cath** aight cya in 10

———————-

[12:30 p.m.] **back2thepalace** [video attached]

 **back2thepalace** thought i’d leave this here

**whataqueen**!!!!

**MamaSeymour** @fairest.0f.the.fair @cparr6 Congrats!

 **MamaSeymour** Also, while we’re sharing good news…

 **MamaSeymour** [picture attached]

 **MamaSeymour** :)

**whataqueen** ASFGDGGHDFHDFHDGG

 **whataqueen** :)))))

 **whataqueen** (my coworkers are giving me strange looks)

**back2thepalace** today is officially a Good Day™ 

**MamaSeymour** Also, Lina, before you ask, I did schedule an appointment.

 **MamaSeymour** It’s on Monday.

**fairest.0f.the.fair** annie lizzie’s 1 month pictures are so cuteee

**cparr6** speaking of cute…

 **cparr6** [picture attached]

**fairest.0f.the.fair** cath

 **fairest.0f.the.fair** ur embarrassing me

**cparr6** that is the best picture i’ve ever taken of you 

**cparr6** so shut up bc i think it’s cute

**fairest.0f.the.fair** this one is cute too

 **fairest.0f.the.fair** [picture attached]

**cparr6** YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDNT SHOW THAT TO ANYONE 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** and yet…

**cparr6** this is unfair i don’t keep any weird pictures of you

**fairest.0f.the.fair** that’s bc it’s been historically proven that there are no weird pictures of me

**back2thepalace** oof that’s gonna be hard to follow

**cparr6** which is why i’m not going to dignify that comment with a response 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** :(

[4:17 p.m.] **boleyngirl** hey shitheads we’re going to dinner

**back2thepalace** why

**boleyngirl** I SOLD A HOUSE

**back2thepalace** nice!

**cparr6** i think it’s safe to say we’ve never had better luck in one day

**whataqueen** i do believe that’s a fair statement 

**boleyngirl** well we’re going out for pizza to celebrate

**fairest.0f.the.fair** mario’s i’m assuming

**boleyngirl** anywhere else would be blasphemy 

  
**fairest.0f.the.fair** a point well made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayo credit to the lovely @PikaPals16 for the phone switching idea


	7. chaos in a cracker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to my dear friend ash for coming up with that chapter title  
> tw for a homophobic comment but apart from that it should be smooth sailing

10:09 a.m.]  **back2thepalace** anne i think your child wishes to see you

**boleyngirl** u r her mother too

**back2thepalace** i’m tryna give her a bottle but she won’t take it

**boleyngirl** i can’t come home to feed her rn

**boleyngirl** ur using the right bottle?

**back2thepalace** yeah 

**boleyngirl** did u warm up the nipple 

**back2thepalace** no should i try it

**boleyngirl** yes 

**boleyngirl** run it under warm water that should solve ur problem

**back2thepalace** ok

[11:37 a.m.]  **whataqueen** janey 

**whataqueen** janey

**MamaSeymour** What?

**whataqueen** hey janey

**MamaSeymour** What?!

**whataqueen** i love you

**MamaSeymour** Catalina I swear if you are drinking at 11:30 in the morning I will come and kill you myself.

**whataqueen** WHAT

**whataqueen** why do i have to be drinking to tell my wife i love her

**MamaSeymour** It was completely unprompted. I’m now concerned.

**whataqueen** you deserve my love!

**MamaSeymour** Fine, love you too.

**MamaSeymour** Quick reminder- I have an appointment tomorrow at 2:30 if you’re coming.

**MamaSeymour** (This invitation is open only to Lina)

**whataqueen** dgdsdfsdssdgsd ofc i’m coming!

**boleyngirl** i feel like ur discriminating against us 

**back2thepalace** shut up anne

[2:16 p.m.]  **fairest.0f.the.fair** uhh guys?

**MamaSeymour** What do you need?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** cath and i were walking in the park and this guy just came out of nowhere and said “you homos are going to hell” and walked off

**fairest.0f.the.fair** idk what to do

**MamaSeymour** I don’t think I’m equipped to help you. 

**whataqueen** but i am! as a queer person in the catholic church i think it is perfectly okay to be open about who you love, and the person who is really going to hell is that man who condemned you two

**back2thepalace** go off sis

**boleyngirl** iconic

**fairest.0f.the.fair** thx lina :)

**whataqueen** ofc

  
  


[12:39 p.m.]  **cathyyy** kit i have a question 

**katkat** what do u need 

**katkat** also couldn’t u have asked in person 

**cathyyy** idk feels better over text

**katkat** ok well what’s ur question 

**cathyyy** would you still love me if i wasn’t a girl?

**katkat** i’d love u no matter what

**katkat** but wdym

**cathyyy** i think i might be nonbinary 

**cathyyy** is that ok?

**katkat** cathy i’m so happy u told me

**katkat** ofc it’s ok

**katkat** what pronouns do u want to use?

**cathyyy** ummm

**cathyyy** i’m not sure 

**cathyyy** probably they/them?

**cathyyy** and could you maybe call me cat instead of cathy?

**cathyyy** ik it’s kinda your thing 

**katkat** it’s fine i can think of another one for myself 

**cathyyy** ok

**cathyyy** can you tell the others?

**katkat** yea ofc gimme a sec

[12:47 p.m.]  _ katkat changed multiple usernames _

**cat** thanks :)

**kitkit** np bby 

[12:47 p.m.]  **fairest.0f.the.fair** guys cat told me to tell u smtn

**boleyngirl** wut

**boleyngirl** whos cat

**fairest.0f.the.fair** (cathy)

**fairest.0f.the.fair** but anyway they told me that they’d like u guys to use they/them pronouns for them

**back2thepalace** just so i’ve got this right

**back2thepalace** cath=cat=they/them?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** yes

**fairest.0f.the.fair** which brings me to another point

**boleyngirl** oh christ 

**whataqueen** do NOT take the lord’s name in vain (jokes)

**fairest.0f.the.fair** anyway…

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i’m going by kitty now since cat is cat and it would get confusing if they were cat and i was kat 

**back2thepalace** ok so

**back2thepalace** kat=kitty=still she/her?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** correct

[1:30 p.m.]  **MamaSeymour** Cat thank you for letting Kitty tell us! We’re proud of you!

**cparr6** thx janey

**MamaSeymour** What size do you like for hoodies?

**cparr6** uhm large or xl either one works

**MamaSeymour** Great!

[2:14 p.m.]  **whataqueen** KATHERINE HOWARD I SMELL A RABBIT

**fairest.0f.the.fair** they prefer the name bubbles but go on

**whataqueen** they?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i let cat pick a coming out present and they wanted a rabbit but only if said rabbit could use they/them as well

**whataqueen** is the rabbit contained

**fairest.0f.the.fair** cat and bubbles are snuggling currently

**fairest.0f.the.fair** so yeah pretty much

**boleyngirl** y’all already have 3 dogs why do u need a rabbit 

**back2thepalace** bubbles is the nonbinary rights rabbit

**whataqueen** WHAT WAS THAT THUMP

**fairest.0f.the.fair** uhhh

**whataqueen** KATHERINE HOWARD

**cparr6** umm 

**whataqueen** CAT PARR

**fairest.0f.the.fair** ...the rabbit is no longer contained

**whataqueen** KATHERINE HOWARD!

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i’m not the one who LOST THEIR GRIP on a rabbit 

**whataqueen** cat you’re awful quiet

**fairest.0f.the.fair** [video attached]

**fairest.0f.the.fair** that’s why

**whataqueen** that door had better be shut tight

**fairest.0f.the.fair** ...you’ll never guess what just happened

**whataqueen** for the love of god and all things holy PLEASE don’t say the rabbit got out the door

**fairest.0f.the.fair** bubbles is on their way downstairs 

**whataqueen** f u c k

**whataqueen** sounds like my cue to leave

[2:43 p.m.]  **cparr6** uh jane you know first aid right

**MamaSeymour** I should hope so!

**cparr6** how do you treat rugburn on someone’s face

**MamaSeymour** Oh my goodness.

**MamaSeymour** I’m on my way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk i lost my train of thought like 3 times in the process of writing that


	8. rule #1: don’t misgender a cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one week? wow  
> tw for mentioned self harm

[12:52 p.m.]  **cparr6** [picture attached]

**cparr6** thank you janey <3

**boleyngirl** pic isn’t loading what is it

**cparr6** jane got me a bunch of nonbinary pride stuff

**cparr6** i’m gonna wear the they/them pin literally everywhere

**cparr6** and the flag will be added to the collection 

**MamaSeymour** Glad you like it! :)

**cparr6** i love it <3<3<3

[3:26 p.m.]  **cparr6** no one talk to me 

[3:26 p.m.]  **kitkit** r u ok?

**cat** no

**kitkit** dysphoria?

**cat** no

**cat** i wore my they/them pin to work

**cat** but someone misgendered me and now i feel like shit

**kitkit** do u wanna talk about it?

**cat** no

**kitkit** do i need to come home?

**kitkit** u r at home and not still at work right?

**cat** ye i’m at home but i don’t feel like seeing anyone rn

**kitkit** ok

**kitkit** try taking a nap. call if u need me

**cat** ok

**kitkit** and pls don’t start cutting urself again 

**cat** i won’t

**cat** i promised i’d stop

**cat** i can’t break that promise

**kitkit** ok…

**cat** you don’t trust me?

**kitkit** ofc i trust u

**kitkit** but i also care abt u

**kitkit** i don’t want u to relapse

**cat** i won’t i swear 

**cat** i’m gonna try to get some sleep

**kitkit** ok

[3:39 p.m.]  **annie b** is cat ok?

**meow** no but they’re gonna get better

**meow** i hope 

**annie b** what happened 

**meow** i don’t think i’m at liberty to say but i don’t want them at home alone rn

**annie b** what time do u get off tonight

**meow** not till 7

**meow** can u check in on them when u get home

**annie b** yeah 

**meow** idk if they’ll want to see anyone later or not but i know they don’t rn

**annie b** ok i can play it by ear

[3:42 p.m.]  **fairest.0f.the.fair** if any of u guys gets home before anne don’t go into me and cat’s room

**fairest.0f.the.fair** they’re trying to sleep in there

**whataqueen** ok 

**whataqueen** on a side note, baby aragon-seymour should be arriving around march 15th

**back2thepalace** DUDE

**back2thepalace** WHAT

**whataqueen** what?

**back2thepalace** BRO THATS LEGIT 3 DAYS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY 

**whataqueen** interesting 

**cparr6** y’all stfu i’m tryna sleep

**back2thepalace** turn off the sound?

**cparr6** k

[4:20 p.m.]  **boleyngirl** y’all it fucken WIMDY out here

**MamaSeymour** Are you drunk?

**boleyngirl** NO

**boleyngirl** that’s a MEME

**boleyngirl** ...

**boleyngirl** u’ve never seen that meme?

**MamaSeymour** No.

**boleyngirl** oh god now i’ve gotta find it

**fairest.0f.the.fair** hufflepuffs are particularly good finders 

**boleyngirl** leave me with ur theatre kid bullshit

**boleyngirl** [ https://foxpost-generator.tumblr.com/post/182259885069/it-fucken-wimdy ](https://foxpost-generator.tumblr.com/post/182259885069/it-fucken-wimdy)

**boleyngirl** FOUND IT

**whataqueen** anne 

**boleyngirl** ye?

**whataqueen** no

**boleyngirl** wut

**whataqueen** just no

**boleyngirl** lol ok

[5:09 p.m.]  **annie b** cat’s all good they’re in bed snuggling with bubbles 

**meow** did u talk to them?

**annie b** no they looked rlly peaceful so i just let them be

**meow** ok

**meow** tell them i said hi

**annie b** ok

**annie b** they say hi back and they want u to cuddle with them when u get home

**meow** tell them i will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m sorry the it fucken wimdy meme makes me lose it every time i see it


	9. engaged people things?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah ok wrote this in like an hour idk how bad it is but i can’t sleep so yayyy

[6:17 a.m.]  **cparr6** me n kit r going to do engaged people things we’ll be back by tuesday 

[7:47 a.m.]  **whataqueen** CAT PARR ANSWER MY TEXTS

**fairest.0f.the.fair** cat’s driving rn

**whataqueen** WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING

**MamaSeymour** They’d better not be eloping.

**fairest.0f.the.fair** alright so then we’re DEFINITELY not eloping

**MamaSeymour** KATHERINE HOWARD

**fairest.0f.the.fair** that’s my name don’t wear it out

**MamaSeymour** What are you doing?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** janey i found my person

**fairest.0f.the.fair** you always said i’d find my person

**fairest.0f.the.fair** please don’t be mad

**MamaSeymour** I’m not mad. Wait until Anne sees this, then you’ll see mad.

**boleyngirl** wait until anne sees what now

**whataqueen** scroll up

**boleyngirl** and i’m supposed to be mad?

**MamaSeymour** You’re not mad?

**boleyngirl** slightly irked that they did this without saying anything? yes 

**boleyngirl** but mad? no

**fairest.0f.the.fair** so no one’s mad?

**whataqueen** ahem

**fairest.0f.the.fair** lina ur always mad u don’t count

**whataqueen** i feel so loved

**fairest.0f.the.fair** but other than that no one’s mad?

**boleyngirl** no ofc not

**fairest.0f.the.fair** so you won’t be mad if i say cat lied and we’ll be back tomorrow?

**MamaSeymour** As long as you two aren’t having sex in my house while everyone else is home, I’m fine with it.

**whataqueen** as long as you both think this is the right decision

**whataqueen** i don’t want my cousin ruining their life

**fairest.0f.the.fair** wait

**MamaSeymour** Lina don’t say anything you’ll regret!

**fairest.0f.the.fair** you think cat’s ruining their life by marrying me?

**whataqueen** they’re young! they have dreams!

**fairest.0f.the.fair** do you think they’d lie about wanting me to be part of those dreams?

**whataqueen** no 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** do you think they lied about wanting to start a family with me?

**whataqueen** again, no

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i was the first person they came out to

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i’m the last thing they see before they go to sleep 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** they’ve said before that i’m all they ever wanted in a partner 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** that i am their best friend 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** the fact that you doubt that for even a second hurts me

[8:29 a.m.]  **janey** Lina I want you to give me one good reason why you thought that was a good idea. 

**ari** idk

**ari** it wasn’t?

**janey** Then why did you say it?

**ari** ig i wasn’t thinking 

**ari** i’m sorry these past couple months have been a lot to handle 

**janey** They’ve been hard on me too, I understand.

**janey** But that doesn’t give you permission to be rude.

**ari** i know 

**ari** how’re you doing

**janey** Practically dead on my feet but I’m holding up.

**ari** gonna need a nap when you get back?

**janey** It’s likely. Go apologize to Kitty and I’ll consider cuddling with you.

[8:36 a.m.]  **sass bitch** kitty i’m sorry 

**kitkat** sorry my ass

**kitkat** you’re just saying that so you can cuddle with janey

**sass bitch** no i really am

**kitkat** then why’d you say cat was ruining their life by marrying me

**sass bitch** i-

**sass bitch** that’s not how i meant it

**sass bitch** i was telling you guys not to make decisions you’d regret

**kitkat** still

**sass bitch** i’m sorry 

**kitkat** you keep saying that

**sass bitch** can i finish my thought?

**kitkat** sure

**sass bitch** these past few months have built up

**sass bitch** i finally snapped 

**sass bitch** i didn’t intend to snap at you but that’s just what happened 

**kitkat** wdym “these past few months have built up”

**sass bitch** i’ve just kinda put off dealing with my emotions of everything that’s happened here lately 

**sass bitch** jane’s pregnancy, your engagement, cat coming out…

**sass bitch** it’s a lot to handle

**kitkat** why didn’t you say anything 

**sass bitch** what?

**kitkat** i would’ve gladly let you vent to me

**kitkat** all you had to do was say something 

**sass bitch** i didn’t want to bother you ig

**sass bitch** i’m supposed to be the strong one

**kitkat** bullshit

**kitkat** that is such utter bullshit omg

**kitkat** please tell me you didn’t let someone bully that into you

**sass bitch** i was the oldest kid and the oldest cousin

**sass bitch** it’s just what was expected of me

**kitkat** lina

**kitkat** honey

**kitkat** you will NEVER be bothering me if you need to rant

**sass bitch** ok

**sass bitch** one more thing

**kitkat** yeah?

**sass bitch** am i still sass bitch in your phone?

**kitkat** noooooooooo

**sass bitch** you’re lying

**kitkat** ok yeah you’re still sass bitch in my phone

**sass bitch** knew it 

[9:28 a.m.]  **back2thepalace** someone wanna tell me why i saw two insta posts in a row of the same picture 

**back2thepalace** one on cat’s acc and one on kitty’s

**back2thepalace** cat’s with the caption “did a thing with my best friend”

**back2thepalace** and kitty’s with the caption “found my person”

**whataqueen** good morning sleeping beauty 

**whataqueen** scroll up

**back2thepalace** choked on my coffee

**boleyngirl** f in the chat

**whataqueen** f

**MamaSeymour** F?

**boleyngirl** f

**fairest.0f.the.fair** f

**cparr6** f

**back2thepalace** f

**back2thepalace** i came to my own funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pretend i said something even remotely witty here*


	10. oh how the tables have flipped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m utterly sorry for my lack of activity but i’ve been breaking down and burning out more than usual... sorry

[6:09 a.m.]  **boleyngirl** *sings in a lovely little tune as i sometimes do* someone wanna tell me why the moulin rouge obcr absolutely s L A P S

[8:06 a.m.]  **MamaSeymour** Kitty.

**MamaSeymour** …

**MamaSeymour** KATHERINE HOWARD 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** yes that’s me

**fairest.0f.the.fair** wassup janeyy 

**MamaSeymour** fucking christ 

**boleyngirl** w o a h

**back2thepalace** uh oh

**fairest.0f.the.fair** don’t worry i am NOT drunk

**MamaSeymour** Thank god. 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** so what do u need

**MamaSeymour** WHY DID I JUST GET A CONFIRMATION EMAIL THAT I SPENT $3000 ON A VIOLIN?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** dunno

**MamaSeymour** What do you mean, “dunno”?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i didn’t order a violin

**MamaSeymour** kitty if you are lying to me i will ground you

**boleyngirl** no caps jane is a jane i’d never like to see again

**fairest.0f.the.fair** janey you can’t ground me i’m 22

**boleyngirl** IDK ABT U

**boleyngirl** BUT IM FEELIN 22

**whataqueen** anne shut up you’re not funny

**boleyngirl** owchy

**whataqueen** *ouchie

**boleyngirl** get out of here w ur technicatiles just bc ur right doesn’t mean ur interesting 

**cparr6** I SMELL JOHN MULANEY

**boleyngirl** hello there cat

**cparr6** HI

**whataqueen** put down the coffee, friend

**cparr6** oNe BlAcK cOfFeE

**whataqueen** GO BACK TO SLEEP

**cparr6** and starve?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** nO

**MamaSeymour** What is going on here?

**boleyngirl** vines and john mulaney thats what

**whataqueen** i’m gonna do it i’m gonna fucking do it i’m gonna kill you all

**cparr6** w o a h

**fairest.0f.the.fair** wHAT

**MamaSeymour** LINA NO

[8:18 a.m.]  **Anna** i know who ordered the violin

**jane** Who?

**Anna** it was me

**jane** How did you get my financial information?

**Anna** 5 letters starts with k

**jane** Oh.

**jane** Makes sense. 

**Anna** you’re not mad?

**jane** No, just don’t do it again.

**Anna** got it 

[10:31 a.m.]  **whataqueen** so i’m working from home

**whataqueen** and i hear a crash yeah?

**whataqueen** so i do some looking, make sure mary didn’t knock anything over

**whataqueen** i get to the dining room 

**whataqueen** and the entire fuckin table is flipped 

**whataqueen** and kitty is just standing there with a look of pure astonishment on her face

**whataqueen** i was not given context and i don’t think i want any

**fairest.0f.the.fair** good ur not getting any

**cparr6** ohhhh so that’s what that was ok

**boleyngirl** i aspire to cat’s level of indifference 

**cparr6** cool

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i want to be a princess

**boleyngirl** are you okay?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** yes i’m fine thank you for asking

**cparr6** i have a hair appointment tomorrow 

**boleyngirl** ooh what’re you gonna get done

**cparr6** get it cut really short 

**whataqueen** ohhh that’ll look so cute with your hair 

[10:37 a.m.]  **cat** i want a tattoo 

**kitkit** ok

**cat** i want a nose ring

**kitkit** ok

**cat** srsly?

**kitkit** i’m trying to get something done here

**cat** would bunny cuddles help?

**kitkit** i think we know lina would have us both drawn and quartered if you brought bubbles down here

**kitkit** what’s her deal with rabbits anyway 

**cat** she had a bad experience as a child

**kitkit** weirddddd

**kitkit** anyway i finished what i was working on i’m coming up for cat cuddles 

**cat** okkk i’ll be waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i might go to sleep now. not sure


	11. lina investigates loud noises pt. 2 plus other shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i steal some conversations from an actual group chat i’m in? yes. also you might want google translate for part of this.

[9:46 a.m.]  **boleyngirl** ok what’s everyone’s opinion on country music 

**cparr6** *farm emo

**boleyngirl** i-

**MamaSeymour** No, no, they have a point.

**boleyngirl** ok then

[12:38 p.m.]  **fairest.0f.the.fair** do fish spit air

**whataqueen** yes

**whataqueen** it’s called bubbles 

**boleyngirl** yeah don’t they like separate the oxygen from the hydrogen and spit out the hydrogen 

**cparr6** i’d like to point out that kitty woke up, texted that, and went back to sleep 

**cparr6** so you’d better not be shitting her or she’ll be very disappointed 

**whataqueen** ok i googled it anne is wrong but i’m right

[2:18 p.m.]  **fairest.0f.the.fair** ITS A YEET OR BE YEETED WORLD 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** KILL OR BE KILLED 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** TAKE YOUR CHANCES KIDS 

**boleyngirl** hakuna matata

**back2thepalace** hotel? trivago 

**cparr6** ayyy macarena 

**whataqueen** what are y’all on

**fairest.0f.the.fair** GRIND

**cparr6** grind 

**back2thepalace** gRiNd

**boleyngirl** g r i n d

**whataqueen** what’s grind 

**boleyngirl** iykyk

**MamaSeymour** What does that mean?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** if you know you know

**MamaSeymour** Oh okay.

**MamaSeymour** So “iykyk” is an inside joke?

**boleyngirl** omggggg

**fairest.0f.the.fair** no, grind is an inside joke. iykyk stands for if you know you know 

[4:08 p.m.]  **boleyngirl** annaaaaaa

**back2thepalace** what

**boleyngirl** j’ai besoin de ton aide 

**back2thepalace** Womit

**boleyngirl** viens ici, je t’expliquerai plus tard

**whataqueen** anne, te pido que nos digas si tu petición es de naturaleza sexual para que podamos prepararnos en consecuencia

**boleyngirl** je ne lui demande pas de me baiser si c’est ce qui t’inquiète

**back2thepalace** Kann jemand Lizzie sehen, dass sie im Wohnzimmer auf dem Boden ist?

**whataqueen** la tengo

**back2thepalace** Danke

[5:17 p.m.]  **back2thepalace** was war das

**boleyngirl** baby that was fun but we’re done speaking all different languages 

**back2thepalace** fine 

**back2thepalace** what was that 

**whataqueen** i’ll investigate

**whataqueen** [picture attached]

**fairest.0f.the.fair** ooooooops

**MamaSeymour** MY FAVORITE VASE!

**boleyngirl** kitty ur gonna get it when jane gets home

**MamaSeymour** Speaking of, can someone else make dinner tonight? I won’t be home till around 11.

**whataqueen** i got it

[5:21 p.m.]  _ whataqueen added boleyngirl, back2thepalace, fairest.0f.the.fair, and cparr6 to a group  _

[5:21 p.m.]  _ whataqueen named the group  _ jane’s got the late shift

**whataqueen** alright who’s making dinner 

**back2thepalace** idk what do we want 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** something with chicken or fish pls

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i’m tryna stay away from red meat

**boleyngirl** let’s get chinese 

**whataqueen** i’m good with that any objections?

  
**whataqueen** ok sounds like we’re getting chinese

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alrighty hope you enjoyed the brain vomit, kudos and comments are appreciated!


	12. lina won’t admit it but she probably needs bunny cuddles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> approx. 3-3.5 months after the last chapter

[2:31 p.m.]  **whataqueen** uhh guys?

**whataqueen** jane just called me

**whataqueen** she’s freaking out

**fairest.0f.the.fair** what’s going on?

**whataqueen** she says she’s in labor

**boleyngirl** but she’s only 5 months along?

**whataqueen** i don’t know

**whataqueen** she just told me to meet her at the hospital 

**back2thepalace** you’ll keep us updated?

**whataqueen** i’ll try my best 

**whataqueen** i’m insanely scared

**cparr6** i’m sure it’ll all be fine 

**boleyngirl** she’s sure she’s actually in labor?

**boleyngirl** cos every single time i thought i’d gone into labor it was braxton hicks 

**whataqueen** i don’t know i didn’t bring it up to her

**whataqueen** anyway i’d better get over there before she decides she wants to kill me

**fairest.0f.the.fair** drive safe!

[3:09 p.m.]  **whataqueen** ok they’re giving her meds to help with lung development and slow down labor

**boleyngirl** so she’s officially in labor?

**whataqueen** yep

**whataqueen** at 24 weeks

**cparr6** sheesh

**back2thepalace** how’s she feeling 

**whataqueen** she says she’s ok but she’s freaking out too

**back2thepalace** well that’s to be expected 

**whataqueen** i’ll keep you guys updated

[6:43 a.m.]  **whataqueen** so the tocolytics didn’t work

[7:15 a.m.]  **boleyngirl** the what nows

**whataqueen** tocolytics

**whataqueen** the shit they gave her to slow down labor 

**boleyngirl** ahhh ok

**fairest.0f.the.fair** so that means there’s a new baby?

**whataqueen** should be soon

**back2thepalace** this is really early

**whataqueen** you say that like i didn’t notice

[7:37 a.m.]  **whataqueen** it’s a boy

**boleyngirl** name?

**whataqueen** edward john 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** picture?

**whataqueen** they wouldn’t let me

**whataqueen** took him straight to the nicu 

**boleyngirl** aww :(

**boleyngirl** is he at least healthy?

**whataqueen** unsure

**whataqueen** i’ll ask the doctor later

**fairest.0f.the.fair** do u want us to come over/bring anything 

**whataqueen** no thanks

**whataqueen** and jane says she’s doing fine, thanks for asking

[4:31 a.m,]  **whataqueen** anyone up

**boleyngirl** yes

**cparr6** as usual

**whataqueen** can you call 

**boleyngirl** lemme get out of a room with two sleeping people in it

**cparr6** same here

**cparr6** mary’s in with us

**boleyngirl** cat come to the living room

**boleyngirl** lina call my phone 

**whataqueen** i’m just planning on starting a video call

**boleyngirl** ahhh

**boleyngirl** in that case, proceed

[4:35 a.m.]  _ whataqueen started a video call _

_ Video call transcript: _

[4:36 a.m.]  _ boleyngirl joined the video call _

Anne: Okay, what do you need at 4:30 in the morning?

Cat: Maybe she just couldn't sleep.

Lina: No, no, something happened, and I need to tell someone so I don’t go completely mental.

Anne: Is it Jane?

Lina: No, it’s Edward.

Cat: Oh, no.

Lina: They… they nearly lost him. It’s marked down to the minute, he stopped breathing at 4:20 and his heart stopped beating at 4:21. They got him back, though, thank god.

Anne: Lina…

Cat: How are you doing?

Lina: As well as one can in this situation.

Cat: And Jane?

Lina: Doesn’t even know. She’s sleeping, I don’t wanna wake her.

Anne: She deserves to know, though. Go tell her.

Lina: Ok. I’ll talk to you guys later.

[4:47 a.m.]  _ Video call ended _

  
  


[7:19 a.m.]  **gremlin** did you tell her yet

**anger** i did

**gremlin** and…

**anger** she cried and i comforted her what did you expect 

**gremlin** idk

**gremlin** you’re sure you don’t want us to come up there

**anger** we’ll be ok for now. maybe this afternoon.

**gremlin** me n kitty r planning on coming, cat and anna r gonna stay w liz 

**gremlin** lmk if u need anything 

**anger** kk

[7:30 a.m.]  **fairest.0f.the.fair** linaaaa when r u gonna send pics of edward 

**whataqueen** not sure. i haven’t been allowed to hold him. jane hasn’t been allowed to feed him. 

**boleyngirl** did they let u see him this morning 

**whataqueen** yes but i didn’t take pics it just felt weird to try to take pics after last night

**cparr6** it’ll be ok soon lina. i can feel it

**whataqueen** i sure hope so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehe  
> hehehehe  
> hehehehe  
> OOOPS


	13. late night shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for a crap ton of swearing. that’s all I can think of atm let me know if there’s others

[12:57 a.m.]  **boleyngirl** heyyy who’s awake

**whataqueen** hiii

**fairest.0f.the.fair** bonjour bitches

**MamaSeymour** Present and accounted for!

**cparr6** having my first coffee of the day

**back2thepalace** what do u need

**boleyngirl** well seeing as we’re all awake i think we should play a game

**fairest.0f.the.fair** what’re we gonna play

**whataqueen** anne if you say fucking 20 questions i swear to god

**boleyngirl** in that case

**boleyngirl** 20 QUESTIONS 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** OOH ILL GO FIRST

**boleyngirl** go for it

**fairest.0f.the.fair** ok when did u guys know u were in love with ur wife

**whataqueen** strong start

**whataqueen** i think i knew i was in love with jane after our fourth or fifth date (a picnic in the park) when she climbed a tree to tease me bc i said smtn about not knowing how to climb trees

**MamaSeymour** You left out the bit where you tried to climb up after me and fell on your ass, LOL!

**back2thepalace** i can’t pinpoint exactly when i fell in love with anne but i know i knew she felt the same about me when i asked her to marry me and she said yes

**boleyngirl** idk i knew i loved u the first time u made me a playlist 

**cparr6** i knew i was in love with kitty when i came out to her the first time and she accepted me

**whataqueen** i remember that! you came home and you were all smiles :)

**MamaSeymour** I think I always knew I was in love with Lina, but I remember realizing neither of us was going anywhere when we found out she was pregnant with Mary.

**boleyngirl** kitty do u care to add anything 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i knew i loved cat since pretty much the day we started dating, but i’ve fallen more and more in love with them every day since then, and even more since we’ve gotten married and begun discussing starting a family in the next few years. needless to say, i think they are genuinely the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i hope that our babies, if we decide to have kids, grow up to be just like them. <3

**boleyngirl** oh

**boleyngirl** ok then

**cparr6** ok i’ll go next 

**cparr6** what were you guys most excited about when you found out you (or in anna’s case, your wife) were pregnant?

**boleyngirl** i think the most exciting part for me was just the prospect of actually being pregnant since i’d known for about 10 years at that point i’d have trouble getting pregnant and carrying to term

**whataqueen** with mary i was most excited about actually being able to be mamá instead of just playing and with eddie i was excited to be able to do it all again

**MamaSeymour** I don’t remember what I was most excited for when Lina was pregnant with Mary, probably something along the lines of what she said, but I do remember being excited for Mary to have a little sibling.

**back2thepalace** i was definitely excited to have someone who looks up to me and someone i could pass my knowledge on to

**MamaSeymour** Cat and Kitty, what do you think you’ll be most excited about when one of you is pregnant?

**cparr6** actually, if we decide to have kids, we’ll be adopting 

**MamaSeymour** That’s amazing! What are you looking forward to most about that?

**cparr6** i think i’ll be most excited about all the hard work to get approved paying off and we become parents

**fairest.0f.the.fair** and i’m most excited about all the baby cuddles!

**whataqueen** ok ok my go

**whataqueen** how old were you guys when you got the talk

**back2thepalace** which one

**back2thepalace** i got 3

**boleyngirl** idk i only got 2

**whataqueen** YOU GUYS GOT MORE THAN ONE

**whataqueen** WHAT THE FUCK

**back2thepalace** you only got one?

**whataqueen** YES WHAT 3 DID YOU GET

**back2thepalace** i got the period one at 12, the sex one at 17, and the “we’ll still love you if you’re gay” one at 14

**boleyngirl** luckyyy i only got the period one at 10 and the sex one at like 14

**cparr6** i got the period one at 11 and the gay one at 16

**fairest.0f.the.fair** jane gave me all 3 when i was 12

**MamaSeymour** I got the same two as Anne at some point.

**whataqueen** YOU GUYS DONT GET HOW LUCKY YOU ARE

**whataqueen** I ONLY GOT THE DAMN CHASTITY TALK

**whataqueen** AT LIKE 18

**boleyngirl** holy shit

**back2thepalace** wowww

**back2thepalace** anyway what’s everyone’s favorite dinosaur 

**boleyngirl** t rex 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i like all the water ones

**boleyngirl** [picture attached]

**boleyngirl** like this?

**fairest.0f.the.fair** yeahhhh

**boleyngirl** plesiosaurus 

**whataqueen** anne what’re the bird ones called 

**whataqueen** not pterodactyls but the other ones

**boleyngirl** archaeopteryx 

**MamaSeymour** I like the wooly mammoths.

**boleyngirl** jane 

**boleyngirl** my dearest cousin 

**boleyngirl** THAT IS NOT A FUCKING DINOSAUR 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** I THOUGHT I WAS UR DEAREST COUSIN

**whataqueen** jane’s about to pass out i took her phone

**whataqueen** i’ll let her know you all say good night

**fairest.0f.the.fair** on that note i should probably head back to bed

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i’ve got a long day at the dance studio tomorrow 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** i’m teaching team classes all day and all of the level 2 kids (6-8) at night

**whataqueen** what time are you planning on being at home 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** around 930-10

**whataqueen** i’ll stick a plate in the fridge for you

**boleyngirl** ur coming home?

**whataqueen** jane’s already been discharged but there’re a few rooms in the nicu for parents so she’s decided to stay in one of those until edward can come home

**whataqueen** i’ll be home for a good portion of the day most days to spend time with mary but there’s gonna be a couple days each week that i spend the whole day with edward 

**whataqueen** jane’s gonna come home those days 

**fairest.0f.the.fair** when is edward coming home 

**whataqueen** his doctor said 3 months if he’s gaining weight well

**whataqueen** also anne you’re on breakfast duty, kitty you can talk cat into packing you a lunch for tomorrow 

**back2thepalace** i should probably go to bed as well, i have to write my argument on a case tomorrow for a trial on friday 

**boleyngirl** same here minus the whole writing an argument thing

**cparr6** fuck

**whataqueen** you ok?

**cparr6** i have to teach tomorrow 

**cparr6** OH SHIT I STILL HAVE TO WRITE A TEST FOR MY 3RD N 5TH HOURS

**whataqueen** go to bed

**cparr6** ok gnnnnn

**whataqueen** gn honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok but this was fun to write


End file.
